I'd never want to see you unhappy. I thought you'd want the same for me....

It's times like these when I feel my worst. I feel the most alone. The ugliest. The worthlessness. But mostly the loneliness. And really it's no one's fault. I'd blame God for not making me prettier, but for those people who know me, they know that that would be pointless. I could try and starve myself and wear a ton of make-up but that's not who I am. I could act differently and try to forget everything that is me. But I can't. I could blame all guys for being complete douche bags, and as true as this is...what good would it do?  So where does this leave me? Where do I go from here?

Which direction do I turn?

All I know is that right now, I can almost hear my heart ripping in two. It happens slowly and painfully. And just when it heals up and mends, something happens to rip it again. For those of you who have never been in this state, I don't expect you to possibly know what I'm talking about. But for those of you who know exactly what I'm talking about. Then I give you my sympathies on whatever happened to cause you to feel like this. 

So while life still goes on, I wish mine could stop for a few moments. Let me breathe for a bit and start again.  

Until then.

Becca