Dearest Readers.

Have you ever been so mad that you just see red. You can't focus on anything else but that med burning pissed off feeling you have?

I guess since I'm a redhead it's only natural for me to see red everyday but lately...its been taken to a whole new level. 

What do you do to relax readers?

Because right now all I can think of doing is punching a hole through my wall.

Becca

Hey Readers,

So as of late I have been in a bit of a conundrum.

I'll go onto my internet, open Google (my choice of search engine) and my mind will draw a blank. A complete stinking blank. 

Of all the things in the world I'll have the opportunity to look up, a million things at my fingertips and I can't even think of one. Has the internet dare I say it...Gotten boring?

Say it isn't so readers. 

My good thoughts go out to you. 

(What thoughts I have left)

Becca

Anarchy in the UK

Hey Readers,

So I'm here in the new territory that will be my home for the next two months before I go back to school. 

It's pretty awesome here, except for the fact that I'm kind of lonely. This happens to be really ironic because I actually haven't been alone at all since I've arrived but I feel lonely. What else is new right? 

Oh well. I'm hoping that life will give me an unexpected twist soon and everything will be alright. In the mean time, I'm here. Kind of pissed off. 

Whatever. I think I have plans tomorrow to go to the market and hopefully with any luck I'll have a good time. 

Night readers. All my love.

Becca

And Amazing Grace how sweet the sound cause I once was lost but now am found...

Good Morning Readers!

Rise and shine. Today's the day to make something happen. The birds are singing, the sun is shining and I am about  to go visit a Tim Hortons. While I am gone however, I want to make sure all you lovely people are keeping yourselves occupied. 

Go do something today. Something that you would have never thought of doing until now. Maybe it's baby steps and maybe it's completely out their and in your face...I wish I could punch someone in the face...hmm maybe I'll do that today. Anyways the point is, GO OUT AND BE OUTRAGEOUS!!!

I can't wait to hear from you. 

Muchos Love

Becca

Hey Readers.

Looks like this might possibly turn out to be a regular thing. We'll see how it goes. 

While my mood hasn't improved any from last night, my little cousin did a fabulous job distracting me today with a trip to our Science Centre. 

We ate lunch and he reminded me of my love for children by wearing most of his lunch rather then eating it. It was really cute and we had a great time. Even though there was this chamber and my curious cousin wanted to see what was in it. It looked kind of weird and I was like "Sure ok." 

It was only after he went in and got started that I read "This is really scary. Be forewarned" It was actually a recreation of a Nazi war camp Isolation and I was like "CRAP!" I ripped the door open and was like "Oh look we have to go.."

My cousin was like "What?" but he came with me.

So a few minutes later we are walking by it and this kid a few years younger then him comes out bawling and I was like "Yeah I wonder why...." 

So I almost made my cousin go through that...Can you say 'Best Cousin of the Year Award?'

Other then that my day was pretty uneventful. I'm still in a reletively crappy mood and I'm putting on the smile for my cousin. So I guess this blog is a thank you to him. Because without him, I would still be in bed under the covers. He gave me a reason to get up in the morning and for that I thank him.

I'd never want to see you unhappy. I thought you'd want the same for me....

It's times like these when I feel my worst. I feel the most alone. The ugliest. The worthlessness. But mostly the loneliness. And really it's no one's fault. I'd blame God for not making me prettier, but for those people who know me, they know that that would be pointless. I could try and starve myself and wear a ton of make-up but that's not who I am. I could act differently and try to forget everything that is me. But I can't. I could blame all guys for being complete douche bags, and as true as this is...what good would it do?  So where does this leave me? Where do I go from here?

Which direction do I turn?

All I know is that right now, I can almost hear my heart ripping in two. It happens slowly and painfully. And just when it heals up and mends, something happens to rip it again. For those of you who have never been in this state, I don't expect you to possibly know what I'm talking about. But for those of you who know exactly what I'm talking about. Then I give you my sympathies on whatever happened to cause you to feel like this. 

So while life still goes on, I wish mine could stop for a few moments. Let me breathe for a bit and start again.  

Until then.

Becca

In the place where I can get some peace of mind

Hey Readers.

So here I am. As of currently I'm watching my little cousin due to unforeseen circumstances.

So it's cousin Becca to the rescue and I am having a pretty awesome time. On Saturday my aunt is coming to pick the both of us up and take us to my new town. 

It's really nice being away from the hometown though. I feel like I'm leaving a lot of crap there and at this current moment I really don't want to go back. However I promised people I would go back and I fully intend to since school is there and everything...but right now, there are just certain people and certain things that I don't want to see or think about right now. 

Until then however, I'm having and enjoyable stay. 

Until then I'm here. 

Becca.

One long year later...

Wow..

Ok so it's obvious that I have not written in this thing in forever...ok well since I last wrote I have successfully completed my last year of high school! I'm off to university next year. Excited? Yes, Needing Money? Yes. Scared absolute crapless? More than anything.

I just need to do well in school. Because once I'm done, I can see me going off and actually finding myself. I don't want to make the same mistake my parents did and settle down early and have kids. I want to see the world. Help other kids and then maybe have a few of my own. I just hope I meet someone who will be as motivated to do this as I am...or who will at least support me.

The only really big thing in my life right now is that my parents and I are moving to a new town. Though I'm excited, I'm also not because I will only be there for two months before I have to come back and go to school...meh mixed feelings.

Currently my friends are all off doing their own things, and I'm really happy for them...now I just need to figure out my thing that I will do....hmm I'll figure it out.

I'll be in Touch

All my Good thoughts

Becca